I had a college boyfriend who lived by the principle that if one expects the worst from life, he’ll never be disappointed. I told myself he was a philosopher. Not surprisingly, this guy was kind of a bummer to be around. I cannot fathom why I didn’t tell him to shine on after our first […]
The one that (should have) got away
She balances on a weathered, half submerged snag. The water runs cold and clear over a carpet of undulating crimson – hundreds of the river’s namesake fish. I wonder, she thinks, dipping in one foot, then another. The cold stings, then numbs in seconds. She holds still as the bodies scatter and return to the shade of the snag. She bends, […]
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Techno tourists
Mom recently had to buy the book IPhone for Dummies after she switched out her flip phone for the latest, slimmest, whiz-bang of a contraption this side of Seattle. At the time of purchase, the T-Mobile sales guy was in the middle of settling the kind of domestic dispute that can happen when the Friends-and-Family plan […]
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This is why I need help
Tuesday night we had a dinner party for ten. I borrowed silverware from mom. We have exactly five complete sets that were wedding presents, some mismatched stuff from college, pieces other have people must have left here, and silverware I brought in to wash after last summer’s camping season, and forgot to put back with the […]
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Don’t knock the knockers
When it comes to breasts, there are perky ones, ones that are droopy, lumpy, springy, teensy, full or pointy. The best thing I can say about mine is that they can clear a room. I was thinking about this as I was deciding on an ensemble this morning. This was after spending probably a nanosecond […]
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I’m just fine with ‘lazy’
“Son flojitos,” the woman said to no one in particular. About us. They’re lazy. She used the diminutive, so I guess it wasn’t an insult. Just like when women here call each other “gorditas.” Little fatties. A term of endearment. I was sitting in my lounge chair, enjoying a glass of wine and a cool evening, and […]
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Sunscreaming meemees
A Facebook friend recently posted something that made me want to go find her and smack her in the head. I’m not normally a violent person. I am a big talker, though, so by “smack her in the head,” I mean “give her a stern look and maybe stick my tongue out at her.” But I don’t want […]
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By the way, Namaste
A little while ago, Mike and I spent the morning with a group of emotional teenagers. … Sorry, that’s redundant. I meant “more emotional than usual, even given the teen thing.” We were chaperoning a group of kids on year-long exchanges from all corners of the globe. On a regular basis during the year, these kids would leave their […]
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Buh-bye boc choy
Every Saturday morning since spring started, we’ve shopped for produce at one of the local farmers’ markets. The veggie selection can be slim early in the season. We’ll take home some of what my friend Steph calls “yuppie lettuce,” and maybe a bunch of kale. If nothing else, we’ll grab a fancy maple-bacon glaze or […]
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The sound of music
When I was a second grader somebody let me pick up and scratch out a few notes on a violin. I can’t fathom why I wanted to. Might have been a Laura Ingalls kind of thing. The class was held in a building I remember looking a little like a one-room schoolhouse. It was probably […]
