Of pizza-lovers and poor memory

Lessons learned one recent frenzy-filled month

Hey, I did that thing! You know, that thing where you set yourself up with an impossible task and then you’re really bitchy to your family and neglect your work and health and all the household chores for a whole month while you get it done?

No, silly, not Christmas. Guess again.

I wrote fifty thousand and some words for National Novel Writing Month. And I’m still nowhere close to being done with the actual novel, so no, you can’t read it. But I have the cutest outfit picked out for my photo on the book jacket.

And since my brain is a big pile of goobers after that, you’re going to get a list for today’s blog:

Stuff I discovered while neglecting everything else for NaNoWriMo:

... and then I got this cool banner
… after all of which I got this cool banner

I live with supportive people. Today Colin told me he had to come up with an epilogue for a book they read in class and he enjoyed writing creatively. “I can see why you do it,” he said.

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Slow down season

I am not crazy about the holiday season.

There, I’ve said it. Go ahead with your heckling and bah-humbug jokes.

It’s not that anything traumatic has ever happened at Christmas to make me dread it. It’s mostly that there’s this weird thing that happens: if you do something once that turns out to not suck, you try it again the next year. If you do something two years in a row, it’s tradition, and suddenly, God forbid you buy your tree from any other lot, or miss the Real Santa, with the Real Beard and the Big Laugh who hangs out only at this event on this particular day.

When you’re a parent, there’re a whole lot of those traditions to pass down to your own kids, and then all kinds of new traditions that somehow take root. It’s like OCD, holiday edition. Don’t forget to set up the holiday model train that never works, or use those tree-shaped hangers that always seem on the verge of falling off the mantle and stabbing someone who’s grabbing at a stocking.

I am so grateful the Elf on the Shelf thing was never a phenomenon in our home. I bristle a little bit when I’m told what to do, and figuring out what to do with the dang Elf on a daily basis would have probably driven me to drink.

You know what I mean. Drink more.

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The Weird, Obscure, or Slightly Silly: Thanksgiving Edition

The second-tier-but-still-deserving-of-recognition stuff.

With all due respect to all the health, family, friends, roof-over-our-heads and a great meal before us conversation; here are a few things that don’t get the gratitude they deserve in normal Thanksgiving lists, but still deserve a little shout out:

The fact that neither kid has ever had head lice – Knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder, and cross myself for good measure, none of these creepy crawlies has ever been borne over our threshold via any of our progeny. I’ve known people who sought family counseling after strenuous rounds of de-lousing. Nobody needs that stress around here.

My eyesight – I’m just really doggone glad to be able to see. My eyes have been deteriorating lately and while it might be funny to have a nickname like Magoo, it won’t be long before I’ve graduated from the grocery store readers and into something more legit. On my last visit, my eye doctor said I was near sighted and far-sighted and something in between, and that I needed different prescriptions for reading, driving, or staring at a screen. Things haven’t improved since then. I just got a postcard in the mail that said it was time for a check up.

Yes it was in big print, smarty clown. Yes, I’ll call.

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Math doesn’t get me at all

pinterest_mathAmazon totally missed the mark recently. I took it as a good sign.

This week I had one of those I completely suck at everything moments. Shockingly enough, it had to do with social media.

Also shockingly enough, I haven’t perfected the art of expressing sarcasm in writing. Just imagine that last sentence was dripping with it.

So, I was thinking hey, all my bloggy friends are raving about Pinterest, and how many readers they get from Pinterest. Maybe I should put some effort into Pinterest.

Pinterest, Pinterest, Pinterest.

I’ve written before about how Pinterest is conspiring with my inner Julia Child to ruin my self-esteem, so it’s not like Pinterest and I have gotten off on the right foot. This effort has the potential to end badly.

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Conversations with enablers and would-be superheroes

superpowerSo, I’m almost two weeks and a few face palm moments into this NaNoWriMo thing, coming to grips with the whole layer of stress I’ve added to a month already filled with frenetic activity. Signing on to write 50,000 words in 30 days wasn’t my Most Brilliant Idea of All Time, apparently.

And I live with enablers. That’s a problem. You put the holidays together with the co-dependency thing and it’s a recipe for a whole lotta’ not getting stuff done around here in a timely fashion.

Exhibit 1: A typical evening at our house:

“Did you get a run in today?”

“Uh, nope … did you?”

“Well I walked out to the mailbox in my socks, and I kind of did this kind of tip-toey, joggy thing because the pavement was cold. Does that count?”

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The angst of laundry and endless edits

Participant-2014-Twitter-Profile“My working title is The Vinyl Hound,” Mike said. “It’s a character study about a dog made of vinyl, who wants to be an astronaut.”

“I swear to God, you need to promise you’re not going to say that, or I won’t sit by you.”

Kind of a lame threat, but all I had.

This was on our way to a kick off for National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo (which always makes me think of Mork and “nanoo, nanoo,” but whatever). It’s the latest thing for which we’ve signed up but don’t actually have time, and it’s also the only way I’d be caught in a Fuddruckers on a Saturday night.

Or on pretty much any night, for that matter.

Mike’s signed up because of a story that’s been burning a hole in his brain for much of his adult life having to do with growing up in Central Idaho. Actually, given the propensity of very small towns for more crazy per capita than anywhere else, he probably has several such stories.

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Losing all my marbles first thing

scream copy“Could you check our online account?” Mike yells at me from his office. “My computer’s blocking pop-ups and I can’t figure out how to log in since they upgraded their system.”

It’s Saturday, 9 am, and I’m just getting my first cup of coffee and looking at a yard filled with leaves and starting to be overwhelmed. How do I fit in a run, clean up the yard, pawn my kids off on someone else while we go to a football game, browbeat our oldest child into doing his homework, and both kids into practicing their music…

Not to mention figuring out what Monday’s blog’s going to be about. Yeah Monday. You think I do this stuff way in advance?

Have we met?

So, sure, I’ll stop what I’m doing and log into our account.

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Employee of the Week

staplerA few months ago I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. I told her about Mike’s quitting his job and venturing into the consulting world with me.

She sort of harrumphed and asked how long we’ve been married.

“Twenty-two years,” I said. Sheesh. That made me sound ancient. I did the math… Yup, about right.

“Well, good luck making it to twenty-three,” she said.

I’ve been surprised how people speculate less than I would have thought about Mike’s sanity in leaving an entire career, stable paycheck and benefits, to explore the joys of self-employment with me. Instead, people wonder about the impact of his decision on our marriage.

I guess I kind of get it. Couples have to adjust after kids come along and priorities shift. They go through another adjustment when the kids leave home, and they suddenly realize they hate nothing more than listening to each other chew breakfast cereal.

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Whatever a ‘Yote is, I’m their newest fan

yote“This is the first home game for this football program in thirty-seven years,” Mike told us in the car yesterday.

“I don’t think I’ve seen that kind of car in thirty-seven years,” eleven year-old Colin said from the back.

“This is the first time I’ve been to Caldwell in thirty-seven years,” Jack said.

It was a day of firsts.

I do feel a little sorry for Mike at the outset of this latest football season. He loves the game, a sentiment none of the rest of us seem to have inherited.

But, in May when he had his latest mini mid-life crisis and quit his job to come work with me, we cut expenses across the board. Sayonara to stuff like cable television and Tivo, and televised football games.

We still get Netflix, though, and electricity, so it’s not like we’ve turned Amish or something.

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Life Lessons from Little House

braids copyThe news that Laura Ingalls Wilder’s annotated autobiography Pioneer Girl is scheduled for release in November has me all fired up. I can’t remember when I started reading the Little House on the Prairie series, but it was early. I loved them and reread them often. Laura was my Harry Potter, and she could probably have given the little pointy-headed, snake charmer a run for his money.

If she’d had a wand.

The scuttlebutt is that the actual tale to be told about the Ingalls is something more akin to a Real Housewives of Silver Lake or Survivor, Big Woods series than the wholesome recounting of life in a hardscrabble little town that we’re all more familiar with.

Whatever. Even if Pa was a philanderer, or Mary sniffed chalk dust, Half Pint and her crew can do no wrong in my eyes, and I can’t wait to catch up with them.

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