Poor Mike came in last night in a huff from fighting his annual battle with our Christmas lights.

What we now call the Markley Holiday Lights Smack Down usually happens something like this:

Step 1: Everybody else in the neighborhood puts up their lights.

Some of our neighbors trace the eaves of their homes with perfectly straight lines. They artfully drape various and sundry trees and shrubs with tasteful strands of LEDs. Others barf up a maelstrom of seizure-inducing twinkle-rama the likes of which would make the Griswold’s cringe. We have all types.

Step 2: We all (except Mike) ohh and ahh about everybody else’s Christmas lights.

Step 3: Mike declares we’re not having Christmas lights this year.